Well, I remember getting there so high on heroin, ridiculous, soulless me, pitch black, after midnight, and the woman nurse calling me an Angel? Weird, out of this World stuff. There was this young Hispanic guy with glasses, Ishmail that had HIV, but he confided in me, said I'm the only person he told that he has full blown aids. :( SO SAD! How do you tell somebody going thru that that everything is going to be ok??? And at that point they are to hurt and angry to hear the message of GOD? :( SO SAD! There was this Epic Woman Counselor there, blonde hair, so tough, so gorgeously stunning, and she was a Golden Gloves Boxing Champion, and she would always come in so powerful in her suit, and I can NOT believe that I tried to hit on her? WHAT THE FREAK? There was this old counselor man in his 90's of age, a real Noble, Honorable, American Pride Patriot type, and the Patient that would get the highest score every week as the role model patient, no matter what the size, he would put on this strong man belt around his waste, and these work out glove, and he would pick the person up off the ground in a bear hug manner, HAHAHAHA, I REALIZE HOW BEAUTIFUL WE REALLY ARE AS *HUMAN SPECIES* :( So sad about suffering though, huh. And this Old man counselor in his 90's of age, would get so furious if one of us patients called one of our family members, VISITORS :D I was in there with the lead singer from the band "Type O Negative" Peter Steele, and so weird, funny guy to, but he kept talking about how he started this group called, "The GOD Squad"??? Weird stuff. I remember I was going thru so much emotional pain, that I hid in the bathtub in the dark during a meeting, and was eating M&M's, and I shocked my room mate by some martial art skill that I learned to be able to put my hands under the hottest the water can go, and not move or flinch? Felt like fire! That was the toughest I've ever been! NOT ANY MORE-I'M ULTRA SENSITIVE! My room mates were taking advantage of me, so I ripped my shirt to shreds like the Hulk, the one fellow was petrified????? Ughhhhhh! I guess I really have come a long way.
NOW, DIARY WRITINGS FROM THE NOTEBOOK-SO BARE WITH ME(BLUR)
(Don't know the date of this one)Along came Popeye, HILARIOUS! Disgusted Wolverine dude, Halloween dressing?(don't know)
Ishmail spotting Apple juice, without Apple Pulp. Gregory the Rabbi talking about fighting this 7 foot tall dude, "Take out the dudes nutz, neck and eyes". Me doing the Beavis and Butthead, Cornholio Impersonation. Video gamers talking about................VIDEO GAMES! William B wouldn't give "BLUBBER" a work sheet.(MEAN PEOPLE) guy shouting, "NO FRUIT OF THE LOOMS! NO FRUIT OF THE LOOMS!" guy said, "The drug sniffing dog ate my homework".
BLUR(Phillip Proses)5/15/2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
11-1-1998 to 11-7-1998 Ughhhhhh boy. Got Soul back! Now going over the past, *TESTIMONY* going to be brutal I see.
11-1-1998 Started out really shitty! Owed money to Polidora(heroin). Went to (taylor)Lynne's house to get money he owed me(heroin). Than cab was so late, and I was short 4 beans(dollars), had to ask Taylors step dad(Mitch) for it(not good), cause Lynne wasn't there. Ended up with 8 dog scrapes(empty bags of heroin to scrape), and ended up with a whole Dog(bag of heroin) that Daneil(? don't remember her) gave me on accident. so it ended up being a great day(?huhhhhhh?)seen uncle and Aunt
HOLY COW, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME BACK THEN?(LOST SOUL-REALLY!)
11-2-1998 Stayed home from school(what ah surprise). Didn't do any D(heroin) this day(aweee, what ah shame), but it was alright.(oh woo is me). I got nice and drunk(woo, shocker). Chilled with Lynn and Laz, and walked in the cold + got yelled at by my Brother(Huhhhhh-what another shocker).
I AM REBORN NOW BY THE ALMIGHTY HOLY GODZ-READING THIS STUFF NOW IN 2013 IS ALL NEW TO ME, BUT CRAZY THAT I COULD'VE GUESSED ALL THIS. My Brother still treats me like shit.
11-3-1998 Got up hurting. I was so Dope Sick(heroin withdrawal)(THE BEGINNING OF THE END). Got blamed for stealing 20 beans($$$), got into a big accident(I guess a car accident, I had AT LEAST 10+)(SERIOUS), and still sick.
11-4-1998 Went to the learn(?) crib for once? Ya, worked out(exercise), body/muscles aching. But than, Lucky me(BLUR)(didn't even know I was BLUR back then. Remember-I LOST MY SOUL*LITERALLY*FOR 13 YEARS).......again,,,,But, lucky me(BLUR)took a trip to Brooklyn(heroin epicenter)I sticked two?(I guess injected 2?), and got on the Jackie Robinson(parkway), and got 6 pacs(bags of heroin) and felt better.
Dear GOD! Thanx for saving me from that real life horror movie. I OWE YOU EVERYTHING!
11-5-1998 Went to Learn Crib?(don't know what that is?). Almost a year of 1st year there?(at the apartment complex, La Bonne Vie, after Parents divorced after I over dosed for the 1st time and Brother had to give me mouth to mouth resuscitation, and mom walked in as ambulance was taking me out on stretcher, parents had no idea I had any drug problem). Hung out with Lynn(Taylor) and got messed up. Felt good. Went to Community Service(oh yeah? 180 hours community service. forgot about that). than went home and chilled(CHILLED? I HAD NO IDEA I WAS ABOUT TO LOSE MY FREAKEN SOUL).
11-6-1998 Went to Learn Crib, passed out all day.(heroin) FRIDAY, Ya, but unlucky, nothing good happened.(ughhhh) Finished off dope, and went......to.....sleeeeeeeeeep!
11-7-1998 Saturday: Today was pretty good. Hung out with Lazlo, Krueger, Lary, Tony P, and Taylor, smoked herb(marijuana). Hung with Taylor to get Dog(heroin)from Daniel(in the RAIN-FREAK-MEMORY JUST JUMPED BACK TO ME!!!!!!) (I now remember who Daniel was.) I took cab to Walmart, and gave the cab driver weed to drop the toll(price)(WTF??????). Got ride home from Daniel and Phil, and TAYLORS BAG OF HEROIN WAS FAKE(hahahaa)(memory coming back. I didn't do it!, but remember he was very unlucky with that. Taylor got pissed, and then we seen Lazlo and Krueger.
Ughhhhh, boy. Going over this just drained me. Back hurts. So I walked away from being a heroin addict 7 years ago, but still struggled, but just got my Soul back March 12th, 2013, and went thru a 10 month Rebirth process, and was officially REBORNED by the GODZ on my Human birthday, April 7th, 2013. YIPPY! Bya, BLUR
HOLY COW, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME BACK THEN?(LOST SOUL-REALLY!)
11-2-1998 Stayed home from school(what ah surprise). Didn't do any D(heroin) this day(aweee, what ah shame), but it was alright.(oh woo is me). I got nice and drunk(woo, shocker). Chilled with Lynn and Laz, and walked in the cold + got yelled at by my Brother(Huhhhhh-what another shocker).
I AM REBORN NOW BY THE ALMIGHTY HOLY GODZ-READING THIS STUFF NOW IN 2013 IS ALL NEW TO ME, BUT CRAZY THAT I COULD'VE GUESSED ALL THIS. My Brother still treats me like shit.
11-3-1998 Got up hurting. I was so Dope Sick(heroin withdrawal)(THE BEGINNING OF THE END). Got blamed for stealing 20 beans($$$), got into a big accident(I guess a car accident, I had AT LEAST 10+)(SERIOUS), and still sick.
11-4-1998 Went to the learn(?) crib for once? Ya, worked out(exercise), body/muscles aching. But than, Lucky me(BLUR)(didn't even know I was BLUR back then. Remember-I LOST MY SOUL*LITERALLY*FOR 13 YEARS).......again,,,,But, lucky me(BLUR)took a trip to Brooklyn(heroin epicenter)I sticked two?(I guess injected 2?), and got on the Jackie Robinson(parkway), and got 6 pacs(bags of heroin) and felt better.
Dear GOD! Thanx for saving me from that real life horror movie. I OWE YOU EVERYTHING!
11-5-1998 Went to Learn Crib?(don't know what that is?). Almost a year of 1st year there?(at the apartment complex, La Bonne Vie, after Parents divorced after I over dosed for the 1st time and Brother had to give me mouth to mouth resuscitation, and mom walked in as ambulance was taking me out on stretcher, parents had no idea I had any drug problem). Hung out with Lynn(Taylor) and got messed up. Felt good. Went to Community Service(oh yeah? 180 hours community service. forgot about that). than went home and chilled(CHILLED? I HAD NO IDEA I WAS ABOUT TO LOSE MY FREAKEN SOUL).
11-6-1998 Went to Learn Crib, passed out all day.(heroin) FRIDAY, Ya, but unlucky, nothing good happened.(ughhhh) Finished off dope, and went......to.....sleeeeeeeeeep!
11-7-1998 Saturday: Today was pretty good. Hung out with Lazlo, Krueger, Lary, Tony P, and Taylor, smoked herb(marijuana). Hung with Taylor to get Dog(heroin)from Daniel(in the RAIN-FREAK-MEMORY JUST JUMPED BACK TO ME!!!!!!) (I now remember who Daniel was.) I took cab to Walmart, and gave the cab driver weed to drop the toll(price)(WTF??????). Got ride home from Daniel and Phil, and TAYLORS BAG OF HEROIN WAS FAKE(hahahaa)(memory coming back. I didn't do it!, but remember he was very unlucky with that. Taylor got pissed, and then we seen Lazlo and Krueger.
Ughhhhh, boy. Going over this just drained me. Back hurts. So I walked away from being a heroin addict 7 years ago, but still struggled, but just got my Soul back March 12th, 2013, and went thru a 10 month Rebirth process, and was officially REBORNED by the GODZ on my Human birthday, April 7th, 2013. YIPPY! Bya, BLUR
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